Boston Crazy Driving: July 2005

7.29.2005

Get them off the road

It's bad enough that we have to contend with the bad driving of stupid people that we don't need a bunch of drunks still rolling around. Why is it that we label our sex offenders, but not our drunken drivers? Wasn't there a proposal in some state recently (maybe Florida) to signify drivers with a drunken driving conviction by a specially colored license plate? I'd be happy to see those plates among the Red Sox fans and the Cape and Islands supporters out there.

The Herald has been following the story about a man who allegedly hit a mother and her unborn child while they were innocently driving through an intersection last week. Be sure to check out the "related articles" links.

7.28.2005

Today's driving tip

Here's a tip to all those people who are so concerned with getting somewhere that they feel the need to cut me off: If you are going to insist on cutting me off in traffic because you are in the wrong lane because (a) you weren't paying attention, (b) you arrogantly sped along an open lane with plans to wedge into the lane you need to be in, or (c) you're just too stupid to know better, at least make sure we both make it through the light!

Today I had a Dodge Durango driven by a woman who needed to get from the right lane (which was open) and needed to be in the left lane (which was two lanes of full traffic away). She pushed her way into my lane, wasn't aggressive enough to get through the intersection because, too, was blocked by inconsiderate lane changers, and caused both of us to miss the light while on Surface Artery after Pearl Street.

I don't mind missing a light. I'm never in such a rush that a 45- to 60-second delay is going to break my day. But I don't like being kept from getting somewhere because someone else in his or her rush to get somewhere else got in my way.

Obviously we all have to share the road, but I can't stand people too sheepish and scared to move along. There's nothing I can't stand more than when someone pulls out of a driveway or a side street in front of me quickly, then dies in my lane. This happens so much it makes me bonkers. I can understand the logic if there's an unending line of traffic, but when I'm the only car in sight, why does this seem safe or correct? Wait, oh, wait. I know. Because I might not drive as fast as you need to go and hold you up, right? Yeah. Fat chance. I don't speed, but I don't poke either.

So, just to recap, if you can't get a move on, don't cut me off. Get in behind me because chances are you'll have to squint to see me in a few seconds anyway.

More on signs

Here's another question about signs. Regular readers will know that I use the new federal car wash known as the 93 tunnel (or Liberty Tunnel depending on with whom you agree) daily, and there is a sign on the southbound side that points drivers hoping to hook up with Albany Street after the tunnel to use exit 20. I tried this one day recently, hoping to avoid some of the regular gridlock on my way to Southie for an evening engagement. I passed by a closed ramp that I think will lead to Albany Street someday, but the only other ways out, according to the signs, were to get on the Pike, or to get back on 93 South. I didn't have time for a ride to Newton in case the Pike ramp didn't take me to Albany Street, so I merged back into the traffic.

Which way do we go?

As if driving in Boston weren't hard enough already, the Herald brings us this wonderful example of clear signage. *Sarcasm* Look closely at the direction of the green lights and the No Left Turn sign. Hmmmm. Reminds me of old Roscoe P. Coltrane's speed limit sign that would change to a lower speed after the Duke boys sped by on the Old Ridge Road.

It's probably an honest mistake, but man, it makes for one hell of a great photo. And it does show how hard it can be to navigate Boston's roads because they are poorly marked. I can usually find my way around because I am a Boston 'burbs native, but I find it hard to tell people how to get around. The new ramps and tunnels have made it that much harder because many of my old ways and landmarks are gone or changed.

Welcome to Boston! Now get lost.

7.27.2005

Do not pass us

I'm hoping for some explanation from those in the know about something I witnessed (got stuck behind, really), this morning on Route 1 North.

There was a column of about 30 Boston Police motorcycle officers riding two abreast and followed by a single unmarked cruiser. All had their emergency lights on. There was no particular reason for them to be blocking the road. It appeared that they were going to State Police Trooper Vincent Cila's funeral in Wakefield. But they weren't part of the funeral procession yet.

I'm not criticizing the cops. I'm also not complaining. I wasn't late for anything, and it didn't really take me any longer than normal to get where I was going. I'm just wondering why we drivers behind this column were kept from passing on a three- and two-lane divided highway? All of the bikes stayed in one lane. There was also no marked State Police escort for the Boston Police motorcycles. And it did cause some boneheaded maneuvers by some drivers who were very eager to get past the column.

I wouldn't even question it if that was the actual funeral procession. I would have gladly waited 30 minutes or more for Cila's funeral procession, which I imagine was long, to go by. I don't begrudge these officers for going in formation to their brother officer's funeral, either. I just don't understand why we weren't allowed to pass.

7.26.2005

Hanging heads

This maneuver was all brains. As traffic was creeping along the Expressway yesterday, I noticed a young blonde woman (read: old enough to know better) hanging her head out the window, apparently talking to the blonde hanging her head out of the window in the car in front of her. Both were on the passenger side. Also, all occupants of both vehicles were blonde, for the record. And, no, this isn't a blonde joke. Seriously. They were having some kind of conversation with their heads hanging out the window.

I looked at the tags: New Hampshire. I don't have anything against New Hampshire drivers the way I do for Rhode Island drivers, but I do believe some of N.H.'s drivers get a little freaked out driving into the big city.

As these young ladies were carrying on, I wondered if this was some form of acceptable communication in New Hampshire. Us Massholes, as we are lovingly referred to up there, usually pull up alongside one another to have a conversation. We see the logic and convenience of being next to one another rather than in single file. Perhaps they also could have used their cell phones. What high school or college-aged kid doesn't have one these days? They didn't have two phone among the four of them?

Further along the road the memory of a story told to me by my driver's ed. teacher poked into my present consciousness. He told this story of two former students, both licensed, driving past him in his driver's ed. car. The passenger was hanging out the window as they drove by and he was making gestures and faces and being an all around fool. The teacher continued on with the lesson, hoping that ignoring the boys would make them go away, until his student turned the corner and they say the car parked on the side of the road with a large red stain on the windshield (I might be embellishing a little bit, but the basic facts remain as I remember them). Turns out the driver swung too close to something hard, like a telephone pole, and decapitated his friend who was hanging out the window. My driver's ed. teacher swears it was a true story he witnessed. If not, it stands alone as a good urban legend, and scared the hell out of me enough to never hang myself out of the car.

7.21.2005

What Fung Wah really means

Forgive me if this post seems a bit racist. I don't intend it to be, and those who really know me know I mean this with the utmost levity.

I would joke with friends that fung wah was Chinese for cheap ride. Why? Because for $15 you can take a bus from Chinatown in Boston to Chinatown in New York City. Although it has been around for years, it has been gaining notoriety and ridership lately.

Occasionally, I go into work later than normal and am on the Southeast Distressway late enough to have the 6 a.m. bus from NYC in my vicinity. Most days, traffic is light enough at that time that it doesn't matter that the buses and I are sharing the road. Usually I can nimbly zip past them in an opening without a second thought.

Today, however, I figured maybe fung wah has a different meaning. Maybe it means cut you off. Twice the Fung Wah Bus cut me off this morning. The first time it pushed itself into the right lane near Morrissey Boulevard, and later near the Dorchester Yacht Club, it pushed its way back into the center right lane. Both times right in front of me. Why? Because each time the lane the bus was in wasn't moving, and the lane I was in was moving, and I hadn't caught up to the cars in front of me yet.

Some might argue that the break was long enough for the driver to safely get into my lane. True. But not at the speed I was traveling. I wasn't speeding by any means, because today's traffic volume was higher than normal, but I was moving faster than the Fung Wah Bus was, and twice I almost hit it in the span of a couple hundred yards.

Anyway, I chuckled to myself wishing I had someone next to me to enjoy the joke that came to mind that fung wah could mean F you.

7.20.2005

'Please damage my car'

I've gone over my car twice in recent days to see if there is a sign on it that reads: "Please damage my car" because it seems every week there is something new that makes my four-year-old car look like crap.

Readers might remember my earlier documentation of the punks who ripped off the maker's mark from my trunk, and the fresh scratches on my bumper. Nothing short of replacing the whole bumper will make it look right, either. I've tried painting other bumpers with those little nail polish brushes you can buy, and it sometimes looks as bad as the scratch itself.

More recently, my car has suffered other damage. The sidewall of one of my tires was punctured, causing Mrs. Boston Cazy Driving to get an irreparable flat while I was on horseback in Montana. A new tire was in order, but luckily the damaged one was covered under the road hazard policy and was replaced for free. Then as I was walking up to the driver's side of my car yesterday, I noticed someone had difficulty judging how close my car was, and scraped along the bumper underneath the steel rear quarter panel. It damaged some of the area around the wheel well, too. Bugger.

Now, I don't drive a fancy car. Never have. But I like to keep my car nice, and Boston's Crazy Drivers (and its terrible roads) are causing my car a lot of undue damage and aging it beyond its years. When I bought this car, I was hoping it would last at least six years. But, if this keeps up, I'll be driving a 10-year-old car in two years.

7.09.2005

Some updates to the blog

As you can read below, I have updated my comments and trackbacks to Halsoscan. I've heard Halsocan is the epitome of "ghettobloggin," but it works and it's free.

I have also made some changes to my blogroll. Gone is The Last Nail, which was a great weblog until April when the author suddenly stopped posting without word. I have updated the link to the Phoenix's Media Log, now written by former Globe (and now Phoenix) media critic Mark Jurkowitz. New to the roll is Lit Critic and Commuter Rant. I haven't had much time to explore these in depth yet, but on first glance they both appear to be useful to their audiences and intelligently written. Commuter Rant seems to be the MBTA version of Boston Crazy Driving. And please take a moment to read Waiter Rant. It's written by a New York bistro waiter with wit and wonderful description. Anyone who has ever worked in food service or retail can relate and will enjoy it. Do make sure to follow the link to Universal Hub, which is a human-run blog reader of Boston-area blogs. Run by Adam Gaffin, author of "The Wicked Good Guide to Boston English," Universal Hub is a must-read for locals interested in their peers' thoughts on everything local, national and itnernational.

Finally, I have made a deal with the devil. I am now running Google Ads on my page. I know, I know. Advertising is everywhere, even on your favorite driving rant blog. But what can I say? It's free money, and anyone with a weblog and can do it. Since anyone can set up a weblog courtesy of the many free sites out there, anyone can collect a check from Google's advertisers. I expect I should earn enough to be able to afford to take Mrs. Boston Crazy Driving for a nice night at the Friendly's Walk-up window every month!

I ship out tomorrow for Montana to visit family, and to see what it's like to dodge horses and farm equipment.

On a final note, Re-Jan Electric's van #13 parked illegally in the Bertucci's parking lot last night in Norwood, smack between two rows of legally parked cars. He was probably just "running in" (more on that in a future post). I stood out in the rain last night to guide Mrs. Boston Crazy Driving out of the spot, and then called and left a message for the boss. Just another service company we won't be using because one its employees made a poor representation.

7.07.2005

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

A moment of silence

I had a few rants in mind for today, but they all seem insignificant following the mass transit bombings in London. While I will continue to go about life as normal, I don't think it is right of me to post about Boston drivers today.

Early readers of this weblog might recall that I went, with Mrs. Boston Crazy Driving, to London this past April. It was a pleasure trip to see a new place. We fell in love with the city. It wasn't very well-planned compared to the grid designs of New York City and the U.S. Midwest, but it was very clean and well taken care of. Also, our primary mode of transportation was the subway, which the Londoners call the Tube. It far outpaces the Boston subway system in cleanliness, ease of use and functionality.

It's hard to believe that something like this could have happened. There were transit police and very friendly transit workers in most of the stations we used. The ones with the highest volume of passengers were well traveled by transit officials; in the substation and on the platforms. Despite warnings of pickpockets, we felt very safe at all hours.

What's more, for the first time since the days after Sept. 11, 2001 have I felt worried about my safety. I was driving home through the 93 tunnel sitting in traffic and the thought that came to mind was: This would be an ideal target. There were no police in the tunnel, but one state trooper was parked near the tunnel exit. He fell in behind me and shortly exited at Mass. Ave. In general, I don't believe there is an immediate threat, but I would have liked to have seen more police during a heightened security level.

My condolences to the people of Britain. Their jubilation over winning the 2012 Olympics yesterday has been supplanted by mourning their brethren. I hope this is the end of it, but I fear it is just the beginning.

7.06.2005

Missing piece

I was visiting family in Marshfield for the Fourth. Drove down on Friday night, and was excited to be seaside for the weekend. I parked my car on the street; a quiet street that dead-ends on the beach.

Most of the people who own on the street are seasonal, save for a few who converted their seasonal homes to year-round retirement houses. But the street is a main artery for the rest of Rexhame through which to pass on foot or by minivan/SUV (for load and unloading sundry beach accessories). On many weekends, July Fourth especially, beachgoers surreptitiously deposit their empties in the front yard. This year, we were jostled from sleep by a group of middle-aged men carrying on as they walked up the street at 4:18 a.m. They were not the least bit quiet.

Before the Fourth even came, though, someone had defaced my car. Everything seemed fine on Saturday. I left my car behind and rode to the Cape with Mrs. Boston Crazy Driving to go kayaking (It was her first time, and she is now talking about buying one). Later that night, when I closed my trunk at the tennis court, I noticed the logo from my car had been picked off. Nice. It's bad enough that I have a couple of scratches on my bumper from a careless bike rider down there two years ago. Now there's this. Anyone know how much it costs to replace one of these things? It wasn't gold or anything, like the Lexus and Camry logos. I'm guessing though, that replacing it properly is a job for the dealer's body shop, meaning big dollars (my car is out of warranty).

Thanks, kid. Hopefully, you can enjoy that little something to remember me by. Just watch out, because I might want to give you a matching one, from my front end.

Ready for a big wet one

Every time it rains -- every time -- the idiots come out. They're almost like Gremlins, the movie animal, not the car. Get them wet and they reproduce. So, I prepare to embark on a trip from Boston to Beverly in the rain this morning, I know I will be held up by someone afraid of the rain, or someone who thinks its fun to slalom on wet roads.

Here's an example of what I have to look forward to, thanks to Universal Hub.

7.05.2005

People with a wait problem

Sorry about the long lag in posts. There really hasn't been much to report lately. I still get cut off, and I am still being tailgated when I'm not the lead car. But this weblog isn't just my rants about all the individuals who make me crazy on the roads.

But a trend popped up today that is worth mentioning. It's what I call the wait problem. No one wants to do it, especially at stop lights and four-way stops. Everyone knows what I am talking about and everyone can be accused of it at one time or another. It's that little creeping over the stop line as we "patiently" wait our turn.

Some drivers are remarkably bad about this. I watch people ahead of me, across from me and those waiting to cross my lane from either side do this all the time. Here's how it goes: They are cruising at 40 or higher, notice something red (stop sign? red light?) and stop. Then they roll. I've seen people roll right into the middle of the intersection while waiting at a red light. The only that stops them from going through before it turns green is the cross traffic. But there's nothing that bugs me more than the people making a left across my lane who jump the red to beat the line of traffic (especially when the line consists of only me).

If memory serves, and anyone is welcome to use the link to the rules of the road at right to verify it, state law requires that all left turning traffic must wait for oncoming traffic to clear (unless of course there is a dedicated turn light or delayed green on the other side). But some people are in just too much of a hurry to wait for one or two cars to pass.

Sometimes I think it is a game with the people making the left, so I gun it off the light, then blow my horn in disgust to make a big scene.

I've also been beeped at for not creeping into an intersection so someone can make a right on red. What's that all about? Oh, excuse me, let me get out of your way while making an ass out of myself by blocking the intersection. OK. Sounds fair. On second thought...wait your goddamned turn!

After all that's what it all comes down to. There'd be a lot less road rage if we all waited our turn. Only in a true emergency (like someone in the car is carrying an appendage packed on ice or is expecting a baby) should someone drive like this.

That's all on that subject for now. I'll try to note any other trends before I decamp for a week in the wilds of Montana to visit family. They have no daytime speed limit on the interstates out there, so I'll be interested to see if their drivers are any worse than those on Route 3 heading to the Cape.