What are these eye shade things?I'm beginning to think I've been had. I bought these glasses from a man named Maui Jim who said I was supposed to wear them to shade my eyes from the sun.
"No foolin'?" I asked in disbelief.
"Sure," he said in a knowing drawl. These eye shades, for those who haven't seen them, look like regular eyeglasses except they aren't to correct poor vision. The lenses are darker than regular glasses, too.
"That's how they work, see?" the man said. "They go over your eyes and shade out the sun."
"What is the sun?" I asked, having not seen it all winter.
"Man, the sun is a large, bright circle in the sky. It comes out in the spring and summer," he explained.
"And I wear these when it's out?"
"Yes. You know, startin' in like May."
"I'll take them. How much?" Seeing that I was a novice, I think he increased his price.
I forked over the cash, and thanked Maui Jim for my new-fangled eye shades. I couldn't wait to use them. When May came, I put them on to be ready for when the sun came out, but it never came. I waited all May and never got to use them. We're 10 days into June, and only 11 days away from summer, and I still haven't used them. I went back to the place where I bought them, but Maui Jim wasn't there anymore. I think Maui Jim duped me into buying something stylish, but useless. |