Where gearhead meets peckerhead

I don't know if someone driving a Ford Fusion can qualify as a gearhead, but in one instance it sure seems OK to call the person a peckerhead.

Someone driving a gold colored one tonight was a chief jerk on the Southeast Distressway. He (for the sake of argument I'll assume the driver was male) got on the Expressway at Columbia Road heading south, and everything he did was an example of why I write this blog, why others write about "Massholes" on their blogs, and why Massachusetts drivers have such a well-earned reputation as aggressive driving jerks.

He comes up the ramp and wedges himself into a lane. This drives me bonkers, and I see it all the time. For some reason there is the mental thing drivers have in Massachusetts that when merging, they must pass as much traffic as possible before merging. It happens at onramps. It happens when lanes are closed and there's a transition from say three to two lanes. Many drivers believe that they must drive until the absolute last possible foot and wedge into traffic rather than find a *safe* opening. I really want to get out and tell the driver that being four cars further ahead isn't really going to make a big difference when the collective speed is maybe 35 MPH.

This guy's wedging in forced a red Chevy Cobalt dangerously into my lane. The Cobalt driver literally had nowhere else to go because the Fusion diver certainly wasn't going to smash his car into the jersey barrier. I jammed on my brakes to let the poor Cobalt driver into my lane.

Once we were all sorted out, the Fusion driver wedged his way between the Cobalt and my car. I had to jam on brakes AGAIN! I gave him a long blast of the horn, and he brake-jobbed me! I hate road rage, but this was building up to a case of one. I changed lanes to avoid this jerk, who by the way, didn't seem to understand the concept of window defogging; or he was driving with Jessica Alba on his lap. I couldn't tell because every window was completely obscured.

The Fusion driver continued this herky-jerky maneuvering until he achieved his goal, getting into the left lane. I don't understand the mentality that the left lane is always the fastest. It usually isn't when there's traffic, especially in Boston.


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