5.31.2006

Masshole extraordinaire

I haven't really used the term Masshole on this site much. Chalk it up to indifference more than anything. I think it has a place in the local lexicon which evokes a specific meaning, but it simply hasn't made its way into my regular vocabulary.

But tonight, that's about the only word I could use to describe a Toyota driver on Route 128.

We were heading south through Needham in the left center lane coming up on the Norfolk County Jail that is in the median (which, BTW, I could never say for sure was a brilliant or insanely idiotic place for a jail) when I spot two cars close together coming up quickly in the left lane. The one trailing gives the one in front a couple flashes of the brights in the universal symbol to get the other driver out of the way. I particularly hate this practice. Imagine standing in line at Dunkin' Donuts only to have some asshole come up behind you and say, "Hey, this line isn't moving fast enough. Let me through so I can get coffee." Actually, I bet that's not so unimaginable around these parts, but I digress.

There is nowhere for the poor guy being flashed to go. He has a line of six or so cars in front of him and a longer line in my lane immediately to his right. All of us are doing about 65 to 70, and we all seem to agree this is an acceptable traveling speed. Seeing the structure of this pocket of congestion, most flashing drivers would do one of two things: either accept his fate as being stuck in the pocket and wait for it to break open; or change lanes and try to find an opening. The latter usually results in some very poor decision making that usually ends up in some form of dangerous driving. The flasher, in tonight's case, kept flashing...and kept flashing. He did it so much, it annoyed me, and I wasn't even in front of the guy. What bugged me so much is that it was clear there was nowhere for him to go. He just had to sit and wait. But he kept right on flashing. Yet, the right two lanes were relatively open, and he could have passed the mini blockage pretty easily

About a mile later, the guy being flashed was able to move over, and the flasher, who I could now see was driving a Toyota Corolla, had climbed right up behind a Ford Explorer. For some reason, the Toyota driver didn't flash the Explorer. Perhaps because the driver knew the Corolla doesn't command much road respect. Instead, he moved in behind the guy he had been harassing before until a spot opened in another lane. Once free, he sped off at top speed, like a Masshole extraordinaire.

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