I'm not alone, part II

I grew up in the Boston area, so I had advanced knowledge of Boston road rules before the Registry ever granted me a learner's permit. I feel for the poor schmuck who came from a New York Podunk. He posted his rant on Craigslist recently. Apparently, we have not only stole his driving innocence, but our local vernacular has infected his vocabulary. Hey, Buddy, I'm sorry to say you are right, and that I am guilty of everything you've just mentioned, except the last-minute line-cutting on an exit ramp. Or the flashing and beeping someone in the left lane. That is where I draw the line. As for the latter, I consider myself a much smarter driver, and will use the other lanes to my advantage (without being a weaving idiot) to get by a slow left lane driver.

That said, I won't usually let anyone in front of me in my lane. I know why, too. I am a prick. OK, I admit it. But nine times out of ten, letting someone in inevitably means letting someone slow me down. Usually, it's also some driver in an old beat up car who doesn't care what happens to it, nor is it maintained well therefore increasing the potential that it will break down or spew some kind of goo all over my car. No thanks. Stay in your own lane until there is a wide enough opening -- behind me. If that car is behind me, there is far less it can do to cause me trouble. This is also a split-second decision, too. I use certain criteria to assess the chances the driver will be trouble. First I look at the make and model of the car. Anything over $30,000, that isn't a trendy SUV or a minivan gets let in. Then I look at the state tags. Even if it clears the first hurdle, if it's from out of state (especially Rhode Island, Connecticut or New York), I won't let it in. Then I look at the driver, if I can get a good look. This is where I become a bit sexist, ageist. Ladies, be mad at me if you want, but I have seen too many of your gender give a bad rap to the good ones among you (Mrs. Boston Crazy Driving included). Finally, I try to discern if the driver's immediately past behavior will indicate whether he or she will take this new pole position and use it, or die in front of me. This is very arbitrary, and I must say arguably the most prickish part of my decision (Mrs. Boston Crazy Driving has scolded me for this rationale).

Think what you want of me, but having been shut out of lanes, or forced to wait to make a left by someone who sped up to keep me from getting out, or cut off at a four-way stop by the fabled second car rule (when the second car goes at the same time as the first because that car stopped, too), I'm sure anyone reading this can sympathize.


Post a Comment